Just a Thought

Look, Then Leap!

2011-05-30T16:42:00.000-07:00

I am becoming more and more aware of how acutely important, even down to a physical and emotional level, purpose is. You can have money; you can have relationships, but without purpose, life is empty. Purpose sets the criteria for the day to day decisions we make - how we earn and spend our money, what food we choose to eat, what we do with our free time, what we would do to get free time. Purpose is that ingredient which, when added to the human spirit, causes growth. Without it, the soul withers and dies, a slow, painful merciless death. Some people try to live utilizing other people's purpose. That can work for a while, but it doesn't have a fulfilling edge. It leaves one feeling artificial, untrue to the person God meant us to be when He created us. And when the source of that other purpose is cut off, we 're back to zero, looking again for meaning in life, and answers to questions we've never addressed or asked before. Don't get me wrong, purpose doesn't need to be a grandiose thing. It can be as simple as taking care of a child or a sick person, or praying for needs that touch our hearts. But it has to be genuinely from our hearts. It has to be the purpose that God made us to fulfill. When times in our lives create disconnection between us and our purpose circumstantially, the struggle to maintain the integrity of our person is huge. We see this when people go through transitions such as the loss of a job, or the changing of a career, or a child who leaves home to go out on their own, or the death of a spouse. Anything that chips away at the underlying foundational purpose of our being causes us to reevaluate how we live, who we are, and what we are doing. The trick is not to get caught up in the analysis so much that it becomes the center of our activity, and we become paralyzed. In other words, when purpose changes, look for a while, then leap! After all, we never get it completely right, no matter how hard we try. I choose to live believing that God has a purpose for me, even if I can't see it right now. I invite you to do the same.

Two Conversations

2011-05-05T12:22:00.000-07:00

I had two conversations today, each one with old friends. In each conversation we started out talking about the condition the world is in and moved on to the condition of the church. This brought us to some of the reactions that are going around the church to the condition of the world - things like natural disasters, the state of the economy, the breakdown of the family, and the rise of brokenness in our society. I came away from both of these conversations with renewed dedication to principles that have been a part of my Christian walk for a long time. The first principle is that Jesus did not come preaching the gospel of salvation. Instead He came preaching the Kingdom of God. Don't get me wrong. Salvation is vital. Without it you can't even enter in to the Kingdom of God. Without salvation and the work of the Holy Spirit you live in the natural mind and you don't understand the things of God at all. But salvation brings transformation, or rebirth, with a purpose. That purpose is greater than just to keep us from going to hell. That purpose is to establish in us, and eventually in those with whom we have relationship, a new power and vision for life. Salvation gives us eternal life - the life of God Himself. It enables us to be a part of God's process of establishing His Kingdom on the earth. I don't pretend to know all the theology or all the details. I'm still learning after 40 years.

In addition to being transformed by salvation (becoming a new creation) it is a door that leads us into the mind and heart of God. It is there that we are transformed from glory to glory. It is there that our minds are renewed to be like His. It is there that we are empowered to do the things that we've been commissioned to do, such as being light in the darkness and healing the wounds of the broken and sick, and spreading the good news of the Kingdom around the world.

One of my friends is constantly saying, "Prayer is not the destination. It's the path that gets you there." Likewise, salvation is not the destination. It's the first step into the Kingdom of God. The Bible is full of scriptures that stand beneath this truth - Christ in you, the hope of glory. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. You will do greater things than even I (Jesus). Go unto all nations.

One of my favorite scriptures is the Lord's prayer. It actually should be called the disciples' prayer because He gave it to them when they asked Him how to pray. I especially like "Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth (not on earth) as it has already been done in Heaven." This scripture tells me I can focus anything and everything I do on carrying out both God's personal will for my life and His more corporate expression for me as part of His church.

The road to greatness is in being a great servant, just like Jesus, who came as a servant for all. It also means that, like Paul said, real life is found in looking out for the interests and needs of others, not just ourselves. That includes the church. If a local church is only concerned in building itself up on money or reputation of any type, the members will find an emptiness in their gathering together that will eventually spell the demise of the church no matter how large or successful it appears to be. On the other hand, one or two people walking along the road who see a wounded man in the ditch and stop and pour oil in his wounds and take him to get medical care and missed a church service in the process will go to sleep that night knowing that they have extended the Kingdom of God just a little bit farther in the earth. Just like we are all sinners saved by grace, we are all Kingdom builders empowered by God's love and mercy in His desire to redeem His creation.

So my two conversations today led me one step closer to the conviction that God is more interested in what we do from our hearts as a response to His salvation than in what we do out of obligation or self interest. Even if we don't gain public recognition, much of what is unseen on earth is applauded in Heaven.

All to You

2011-02-17T14:35:00.001-08:00

I give it all to you all to you

I give it all to you my Lord

I know that I'll be renewed

When I trust in you

I give it all to you my Lord

You have never let me down

In all that I've been through

Though I may have doubted

You were faithful and

I give it all to you

Hope, the anchor of the soul

2011-01-28T20:36:00.000-08:00

Hebrews 6:19 This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil where the forerunner has entered for us, even Jesus, having become High Priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek.

Man cannot live without hope. Scripture says that hope deferred makes the heart sick. This means that the longer one's hope is delayed or becomes unsure the sicker the soul. The writer of Hebrews understands this need for hope. He talks about it as something which comes from believing a promise - a promise made by God, a promise based in the trueness of God's word. He tells us that God is a person who cannot break His word; who will not break His word. He proves that on the cross and then again when Jesus enters the presence of His Father in the Holy of Holies in Heaven. Jesus earned the right to be with God whenever, as well as to allow us the same priviledge if we would but believe in the effectiveness of the Lord's sacrifice. God promised Adam a redeemer, and then He promised the human race again and again and again that same redeemer. Then God went one step further and took an oath, founded on His own integrity and holiness, that the promise He made could be counted on by anyone regardless of who they were or what they were going through, if they would only believe in Him. Hebrews 6 calls this believing type of hope the anchor of our souls. Everything else in life is transient and broken to some degree. Everything ends and everything disappoints. Even the good comes to an end. But our hope, being founded in Him, guarantees us that in the worst of storms our soul - our heart, our mind, who we are - is safe in His control. We can count on Him. Not only does He take care of us here, but He promises to take care of us for all eternity. The Bible puts it this way - no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has ever imagined what awaits those who put their trust in the Lord. Jesus is a High Priest after the order, or authority, of Melchizedek. Melchizedek was the first king of Salem, or Jerusalem, which means peace. Jesus came to create a vehicle by which there could be peace between God and man. We all know we need peace, and that peace comes from being assured of our future. Jesus understands how we feel and what we go through. Instead of rejecting us or threatening us with abandonment, He extends His hand palms up, I believe, as a sign of peace. This peace is where we place our hope. This peace creates the chain that holds the anchor of hope to help us ride out the storms of life and face futures uncertain by our understanding, but completely certain to God.

Its raining today

2011-01-18T14:35:00.001-08:00

It's raining today. Just like yesterday and the day before and the day before and the day before. In some ways it's symbolic of the way that we Christians are called to live. The Bible puts it this way. "We live in the world, but we are not of the world". All around us the brokenness of the world is raining. Sometimes it's just a sprinkle. Sometimes a downpour, but it never stops. Most of us, when we first came to Christ thought that our decision would stop the rain. For a while, for most of us, were focused, and rightly so, upon the sunshine of our new salvation. As the years pass, however, it becomes more and more obvious that we were living in a raging battlefield and that our job is to enforce the victory won by Christ, while saving as many as possible from the brokenness of this world in the process. Our task is to bring as many as we can to the divine hope of grace, while also dealing with the rain in our own lives.

Hope is not the absence of problems. Hope is not a giddy unrealistic, self-imposed blindness. Hope is believing that no matter how bad it seems to be or how bad it might become, Jesus has won the battle for us. So, when it's raining hard, and I feel drenched to the core of my soul, I turn my face toward the Son and say: "oh look, It’s raining today''.

Altitude

2011-01-17T18:59:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since I've written anything on this post I think I'm going to do things a little differently, however, for a while. I'm going to try to post something most everyday, whether long or short, and keep my focus tighter with some emphasis on the battle that I'm in.

Today's been a good day. The fourth in a row; which is almost record. I had a long spell during which I could not tell from day-to-day whether I would be able to do physical things or even control my thoughts. Constant pain, dizziness, cramped muscles and overall weakness just seemed to be a part of everyday life. Now that I've had a break, I realize that my circumstances had been pushing me around and that my attitude could all too easily fall into the dumpster if I focused on them. On the other hand, if I remembered the good things that had happened in the past and the continued provision of the Lord, my attitude remained elevated. It didn't change the circumstances, but it changed me. Attitude equals altitude. Enough said.

2010-08-17T12:47:00.000-07:00

Choices

Back in the 1970’s there was a movie in which the opening scene showed George Burns fixing himself some breakfast. He started out by putting a pan on the stove and turning the stove on, taking an egg and cracking it and then putting the eggshell into the carton, which was empty and throwing it away. He picked up a pencil and wrote eggs on a pad of paper that was on the counter by the stove. The pencil broke. Next he took 2 slices of bacon out of a package that he had retrieved from the refrigerator, put the bacon in the pan with the egg, and threw the empty bacon package away. Reaching for another pencil, he wrote bacon, at which point the lead in that pencil shattered. Turning to the bread box he took out a sack with bread in it, put the bread in the toaster and threw the empty sack away. He took out another new pencil and wrote the word bread on his list. Simultaneously the pencil broke. He then took a knife, emptied the butter dish and buttered his toast. He arranged everything neatly on his plate and got another new pencil and wrote the word pencils.

This movie scene is illustrative of how life has become for many of us today. We all have lists and on those lists we have prioritized what we want to have or do or see in our quest for real life. We buy a car and it has a finely tuned roar to its engine. It handles curves like fine leather gloves on a hand and we drive it with our fullest attention and utmost gusto only to discover within a few months that all the luster is gone. It still looks the same and it still drives the same, but it’s not the same. The pencil has broken. And so we move on down the list. A new marriage, more education, a better paying job, or a more finely tuned body all take their turns at bat. No matter how hard we swing or how much we practice the emptiness that is deep in our guts still pulls at us and drives us to get one more pencil. Not to be unfair, that’s all these things are able to do. They are temporal and by their very nature they wear out, they break, get stolen or lost. We are not temporal. We are eternal and we yearn for a connection with the eternal that we know is out there somewhere.

God is eternal. He is the only one who has always been and always will be. He created us to be like Him, in that once born we should never die. He created us to be bonded to His spirit in an unbreakable love that will satisfy all of our wants and needs on an eternal level. The Bible tells us that God was so loving toward man that He sent His only son so that nobody would perish but everybody could come to eternal life. Jesus said, “You want to know what the Father looks like, feels like, acts like? Hang around me!” Jesus doesn’t break. Jesus doesn’t disappoint, desert, or deceive. Everything He says He’s heard from His Father. Everything He does, He’s seen His Father do. The luster never comes off of Jesus. We might not perceive it all the time, but it’s always there.

Like the character in the movie played by George Burns, we have to live in the natural world. When we fix breakfast, sometimes we break the yolk, and all we can do is make scrambled eggs. But there’s a decision making process that comes with our first breath and lasts our final breath. The question is whether we live for ourselves or for others; whether we will draw our life from God or waste our life on ourselves. It’s far too simple for most of us to understand. It removes all excuses and justifications and brings our souls down to the base level, unflattering as it may be. We make these choices hundreds of times a day. In making these choices our characters are formed and the foundation of our wisdom is established. I think all of this can be summed up in one simple phrase: “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

I have a friend

2010-03-05T16:02:00.000-08:00

I have a friend. His name is Glen. He is fighting cancer. I have watched Glen over the years and I have found in him the substance of what it really means to be human. Regardless of the challenge, he endures. When he first began treatment, he continued to work as much as possible. That didn't last a long time. He went from full time, to part time to part-time to very little time. And finally to no time at all. During this process I never heard him complain. Instead, he always had a joke, and he always had a laugh to brighten up your day.

Because Glen is being attacked by cancer, he has been through many forms of treatment, most of which are very painful and suck the life out of him. There has been progress which has helped maintain hope. Still the cancer persists. I saw the pain was increasing but, whenever he had undergone treatment he has just said, “It's very difficult to go through this.” I know that means it is unbearable.

About the time the regular treatments stopped working to contain the cancer, Glen began a daily regimen of calling people he knew in different cities who were suffering from one kind of illness or another. He called to pray for them for just one minute. Although he was in pain and his life was at risk, he still practiced helping others as a way of life. His list was not large. It maybe had ten names on it. He was faithful. When I received his calls, it felt like a cool breeze on a hot summer day. I was refreshed and encouraged. He let me know that I wasn’t alone. His calls said somebody still cared enough for me to stay in touch. His calls and his caring confirmed to me that the world isn’t filled with selfish people. Glen would say “God has not forgotten you. His love is there for you if you will reach out to Him.”

Glen cannot make those daily phone calls anymore. I miss them. So now I call Glen. He is still fighting against cancer. His doctors are trying experimental drugs which have ugly side effects. Sometimes they seem to be working; at other times they seem to make it worse. He says one of the greatest obstacles for him to overcome is loneliness. "No one can really know what you're going through, unless they have been through it themselves." I’ve heard that quote from almost every person I know who has a disability or illness that keeps them out of the mainstream of life. Although Glenn spends much of his time by himself, he is also blessed with a great wife , two grown children, and two grandchildren.

Glen is a minister. As any person who works with people, Glen is accustomed to a lot of social interaction. But now, when people see him they too easily turn away, forget to return his phone call, or just not contact him at all.

People who are sick, infirm or aged can tell when their condition makes others uncomfortable. Questions run rampant. "What do I say?” “What can we talk about?” “How can I be encouraging?” There's no pat answer. The best place to start is to open your heart and let the compassion of God flow through you. Assist with the practical, listen more than you speak, and be there consistently. Be someone who can be counted on. Often simply having another person in the room makes a world of difference. We live at such a fast pace and have so many commitments. It is so easy to not notice or respond to the broken, aged, and ill among us. The baby boom generation is fast becoming a generation of elders. We will soon discover the fruit of our treatment of others, for we will be treated as we have treated others. My heartfelt prayer is that there are more people like Glen. I have observed in recent years that these people are the ones who glue us together.

I admire Glen. He is not consumed with self pity or grief. Although he is in pain, he is not a pain to be around. His faith is in God not in medicine. Although his future looks dim, he shines like a bright light in darkness. His hope is in a loving father, a healing savior, and an abiding holy spirit. Who do you know who would be blessed by your visit or call? You would be surprised how much life you can add to another person’s day.

Choose Life

2009-11-17T11:54:00.001-08:00

What do you do, when the impossible needs to become not only possible, but in fact the impossible becomes your only hope?

At any time, in any place, anywhere in the world there are thousands of people standing face-to-face with situations that are impossible. These are very real situations, life-threatening situations, heart breaking situations. These circumstances are out of control. Events and activities are rushing like a train racing down a track toward a gully with no bridge. In the midst of these uncontrollable and dramatic events we hear voices. At first, the voices are clear and loud and seem to have plausible answers to our cries for help. "Just try this!" says one voice. "No, that will never work!" chimes out another. "You wouldn’t be in this problem if you hadn’t been so careless” (or so rebellious or so foolish, or so...)

You brush away the swarm of pat answers that circles your head. Your mind begins to reel with the weight of your impossible dilemma. Prayer! That is what I need to do. I need to pray more. I need to call my friends and ask them to pray for me. I need to tell them that this is impossible. I have searched for an answer till my brain aches and I have not found one. Or maybe I need to read the Bible. The answer must be in there. I just haven’t read it enough. God must have said something about my situation somewhere.

Well, the good news is that he has said something about your situation. He is aware of all of your circumstances. It’s hard to accept. His answers are not what you want to hear. You see, God is so good, and knows everything from the beginning to the end and he has a priority for your life. That priority is to reestablish an unbreakable bond between him and you. To do this, he must prioritize the development of your character over all else. He uses every circumstance, every condition, every dilemma and every impossible situation to transform you. He restores your heart and mind by removing the infectious death that attacks you and replacing it with a fountain of living water.

When I come up against impossible circumstances I turn to God. I consistently get individually crafted and finely tuned responses to my petitions. I put all of God’s answers under one heading. It reads, "…after doing all there is to do, stand.” Stand.

I have looked at that Scripture for years and wondered what on earth it meant. I conjured up an image of a man dressed in armor riding a horse directly toward an opposing army of thousands. The man was all alone. He had no one to stand beside him. No other warrior was able or willing to join my battle. I wanted to go out fighting with my sword held high and not give up until the very end. I tried that and I got knocked off my horse a lot. That surprised me. I was sure that the power of God within me would destroy the enemy. Don’t get me wrong! I had a lot of victories too. But I felt like I was winning battles and losing the war. The losses I was experiencing, the impossible situations I was facing, the wounds I had experienced were too significant and were impacting too much of my life to be ignored.

So I would go back to the Word and read again "after doing all there is to do to stand.” Stand. What could this mean? It had to mean more than I had seen before. As I continued seeking God for an answer in his Word, I began to experience an inner strength that I at first mistook for weakness. Places in my heart that were wounded or darkened by sin started to come into view with more clarity. Initially I was repulsed. Then I became afraid that some punishment would overcome me and I would be destroyed.

While I was going through this illumination of my soul, I sensed a Presence, at first barely noticeable. Soon it became more clear and defined. It was Jesus! He was walking me through a process. I was journeying from bondage to death toward freedom in life. Without speaking He began to show me an image of myself being washed in his blood - his real blood! The blood gushed forth from the wounds on his hands and feet, his face and his side. He was watching me change. The stains of all my bad choices, all my sins disappeared. I said to him, "I am still so weak. I cannot face these impossible circumstances!" "But I can," replied the Lord.

Then I remembered Paul, and how he had said, "God shows his strength best in my weakness." Paul faced some pretty tough situations. He was stoned, whipped, thrown in prison, shipwrecked, and left for dead. Through all of this he had the attitude that it was a blessing for him to suffer for Christ. To look at his life you would think he was a man plagued by death. But in reality he was a man who had overcome death. I believe it was Paul’s choosing life in the face of death that gave him the ability to face the impossible without fear. He said he counted all the things of this world to be worth nothing more than a pile of dung. I further believe that it was choosing a life without compromise that enabled him to say, “after you have done everything you can do to stand your ground, stand.”

The real answer to the impossible is that I have to give my life over to the undefeatable. To do this, I have to set my expectations aside. I have to trust in the Lord with all of my heart and lean not upon my own understanding but acknowledge him in everything I do. This allows him to make my paths straight. This does not take the pain out of life, but it puts life in the pain. I will not totally understand the difficulties of this life as long as I am living. But I have a promise that someday I will be transformed to be completely like him and to know him in everything - even his suffering -as he really is.

I have chosen to stand by choosing life.

I'm hot

2009-10-01T13:11:00.000-07:00

I am all steamed up I cannot take it anymore. There's so many hurting people so many who do not know where to go to find help and wholeness. Day after day, week after week, month after month they do the same thing over and over expecting different results. Its driving us crazy. We have become isolated, ritualized, impersonal and quietly desperate. The situation has become so bad that it is like trying to eat a dinosaur. Even if your attempt is one bite at a time, its overwhelming. But we cannot give up. We must continue to fight. We must come out of our houses and visit our neighbors We must get involved with people that no one else sees value in.

No one person, except God, has the power or ability to affect the kind of change that we need. Every one of us has the power to do more than we are doing now. It has been said that the world is going to hell in a handbasket. How much are we really doing to stop that? I am not talking about spreading religion. I am talking about sharing the Jesus who is the Savior of our souls.... the real Jesus. The living Jesus who defeated death and conquered the grave. So that he could freely give us an eternal relationship with himself and with his father through His spirit.
.
I want to shout it from the highest rooftop. I want to send out e-mails, snail mails, instant messages, radio announcements, TV commercials, and anything else that will get the message into the hearts and minds of people. Grace is waiting. Grace is free for us, because he paid the price. Grace is healing. Grace makes you whole. Grace is the answer to whatever question you have. Not mushy touchy-feely grace. Not grace that points you to religious ceremonies, philosophies or theologies. But a strong grace, a powerful grace, an eternal life that starts the moment you open up your heart and mind to the abiding love of God.

You do not have to be a minister or a great scholar or a politician to qualify. You don't have to be rich. Being poor will not help you either. There is no front of the line on which to fight your way forward. This, instead, is somebody knocking at the door of your heart asking to come in and be with you. So what do we do? One day at a time, one person at a time we take our eyes off of ourselves and help someone else with a genuine touch and the willingness to serve; whatever their needs might be. Preach the gospel, the good news, and if necessary use words.

Let yourself get fired up. Change your expectations. Look around you. See who is really there. Listen. Hear their cries. Be Jesus with skin on. Every small action done on Earth is magnified infinitely in heaven. If you feel weak, he is your strength If you are wounded, he is your healer. If you are confused, do not know where to go, he is the way. He will go with you even to the very gates of hell. Do not let another opportunity pass you by. Today is the day of salvation. Carpe diem.

There was a man

2009-08-28T08:54:00.000-07:00

There was a man who lived a long time ago. In many ways he was just an ordinary man. He had made his way through life, year by year, gathering up riches and wisdom and relationships along the way. He had a wonderful family. He loved his wife .He adored his children. After everything was said and done, he was a successful man. Had Providence left him alone, he probably would have lived out his life, died, and been buried, only to be forgotten in a few years. Just like all the rest of us.

Our friend’s lot in life was quite different. He was not to be forgotten! One day a messenger came bearing the news that his children were no longer with him. They had all been killed. Not only that, his possessions had all been stolen or destroyed, and his servants killed. This was a huge pill for him to swallow. For most men, it would have been the end. Our man could have given up, gotten bitter or fallen into a deep depression. But not our guy! Oh, he mourned! He let his sorrow flow like a river. But he never put a charge against God for what had happened. Instead, his attitude was, “Everything came from God; He can take it back if he wants.”

You would think that the next thing which might happen would be that he would rise up and rebuild his life. He had done it once before. With God’s help he could do it again. But what really happened was that he got sick. His whole body was attacked. He was in constant pain. His very flesh rotted. His appearance was so bad that his friends couldn’t look at him. He was isolated and shunned. Day by day, he just got worse. No one could figure out what was the cause of all his problems, but they did not want to catch whatever he had. Even his wife turned against him.

He did have three friends, however, and these friends made it their life’s goal to help him find the truth. The only problem was they did not know the truth themselves. They had many opinions, most of which were traditionally accepted and were centered on themselves. For days and days, the four men met together and spoke of the things of heaven and earth. The main point of discussion was that God only let bad things happen to evil people. Hurtful things that came into our lives were therefore only the result of sin. When bad things happened, it was proof that we had sinned. What we needed to do was repent before God. This repentance would surely bring healing and God’s favor would return. The man’s problem with this was that he didn’t think he had sinned, so why the devastation? There was something more to this and our man was going to find out what it was.

After a long time of argument, debate, and discussion, it seemed as if there was just no answer as to why our friend had lost so much. It should be noted that during these times of discussion, he never admitted to any guilt or crime, but instead proclaimed his innocence before the law. He was so emphatic that his three friends finally grew disgusted and gave up. They wrote him off as someone who could not face the truth and would bear the burden and pain of his situation without hope until he died.

There is one thing I forgot to mention. During these days of disease and discussion, friends and fighting, and questioning everything, our man became angry. He told off his friends. He cried out for justice, and he cried out for mercy. He cried out for understanding, but none of these things materialized. As his life moved deeper and deeper into his pit of pain, humiliation, and rejection, God began to work. God did not curse him. He didn’t drown him or send wild animals to tear him apart. Instead, God began to ask him some serious questions. Questions that were designed to show the gap between his knowledge and God’s knowledge. Questions that compared man’s power to God’s power. God spoke of things that no one could put claim on except Himself. He challenged our man to look beyond the obvious and see the supernatural. Piece by piece, bit by bit God unveiled the vastness of the universe and what it is took to create and to maintain it. . He revealed the awesome substance of His being by revealing the wonders of the cosmos which He birthed and over which He alone was Lord and Master.

When God was through with his display of power, goodness and grandeur He turned to our man for a response. The man said to God, “You can do everything. There is nothing that You desire to do and are not able to do. I have heard of you the past and of the wondrous things that You could do, but now I have seen You face to face. When I look at You and compare myself to You, I fall on the ground.”

Then God asked him to bless his three friends. When he did this he, God took away the sickness that had ravaged his life. God lifted him up and put his life back together. He restored his children, his possessions, his place of honor in the community and his hope for the future. This man lived for many years enjoying his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.

There is a lot to learn from this story. It would take me a long time just to scratch the surface. There’s so much to deal with. I’ll keep it simple. There are three principles which our man, his name was Job, seemed to live by. The first principle is never accept another man’s opinion over God’s. If you do not know God’s opinion, seek it. He told us in the Bible to actively seek Him for wisdom, because He vigorously gives it without getting angry to all who do so. Remember, He is our Father and He loves to give us gifts. Go to His word. Study the issues. Pray, and pray and pray. Find God’s direction for where you are right now and accomplish it. The choice is ours, the results are His.

The second principle of Job’s success is never get too attached to worldly possessions. Remember the story of two men talking at a funeral? One man says, “How much fortune did he leave behind?” The other man looks at him and answers, “All of it!” Anything and everything that you possess may be gone in an instant. We are not guaranteed tomorrow or its riches. We are guaranteed that God will supply all of our needs. There is freedom and strength to be found by living in a place where you own your possessions but they don’t own you.

The third principle that I believe Job models for us is, “Never take yourself too seriously”. I can’t nail down a certain place or time that this principle is directly modeled, although I’m sure some could. I just know that for anyone to go through what Job went through and survive, without a good sense of humor and a humble attitude towards life, is impossible. He could never have been vulnerable enough to be in God’s presence if his opinion of himself was not humble. And he couldn’t have withstood the constant onslaught of misfortune without knowing that all of this is temporal anyway. As one man I know puts it, “You see the greatness of the building we have constructed? We’re all so proud. It’s so vital to our community. Just remember, its all dry wall and paint. It’ll never last.” And he’s right. In 100 years it’ll probably be a gas station.

That’s the big three. Never accept man’s opinion over God’s; never get too attached to worldly possessions; and don’t take yourself too seriously. If he were here, I believe Job would say, “Hold on! Don’t sweat the small stuff! And remember it’s all small stuff!”

Respectfully yours,
Job’s Understudy

Change

2009-08-23T06:39:00.000-07:00

The month is almost over, and I’ve hardly had a chance to write about the things I’ve been learning. It has been hot, and there have been so many little things biting at my heels, that I woke up this morning only to realize that some of the leaves were beginning to fall. Whether we notice it or not, change is constant. Nothing stays in the same place very long. This can be difficult when you are looking for security or comfort. But an ever changing world oftentimes turns out to be more exhilarating than a place of security. It is just managing the change that we have to get a handle on.

Take a look at how fast our world is changing today. Knowledge is increasing exponentially. We are fast becoming aware of previously unknown people and how they live all over the world. Places we did not know existed a hundred years ago have been birthed unceremoniously into the telecommunications world. On a global scale that means our world is shrinking at the same time that is growing.

It seems that to keep up with this change we must be constantly learning, experimenting, challenging, failing and trying again. I think that challenge has been one which man has had to face from the beginning. However, some of the ingredients in today's challenges are different. What is more subtle and easier to misunderstand is that those ingredients, which are particular to our current situation, often contain elements that are the consequences of choices made by those who have gone before us.

Here are a few examples. Unlimited abortion is the consequence of promiscuity and rebellion in the ‘60s and ‘70s. A weakened-nearly-to-death, economy is a byproduct of unrestrained spending and borrowing, spending and borrowing in the ‘80s. What has been referred to by most as racial tension (actually racial hatred) has grown into ideological sectarianism on such a scale as to render our political system impotent. These jewels are the result of the “me first and me only” selfishness of the ‘90s.

In some ways it does not really matter, who is responsible for the big changes that are affecting our world negatively. We cannot go back and change things. What we can do, however, is commit ourselves to live outside the gates of mainline society. We must move forward, learning from our mistakes, dedicated to personal growth in our own hearts and lives. To do this requires that we must put aside guilt, embrace grace, and turn again to God for the direction we so desperately need. If we do not stop the raging forest fire of social decay and indifference to moral values, the consequences will eventually bring down our society. We may even face the loss of our nation and the freedom it has provided for us.

The changes we face today are like all the other changes man has faced in that they are really changes in man himself. Anyone who has been alive for longer than six years knows in their soul that the kind of personal changes I am speaking of only take place when we are touched in our hearts. We cannot make these changes by the power of our wills. We are unable to control our behavior without divine intervention. It takes the spirit of God moving in our cores in a way that only He can to ignite the flames of real change. To put it in a biblical way ‘what the law could not do, grace has completed’ (paraphrase)

That reality highlights the purpose of God in creation. From before all time, God intended to pay the price for our brokenness and to give us the key to the door of real freedom. That key is Jesus.

He voluntarily came here to earth, to live the perfect life and die the perfect death. His sole purpose for being a man was and still is to provide a Savior for a mankind out of control. Knowing our weakness, having fought and defeated our enemy, He came to fulfill the rules by substituting His life for ours. To fully understand that change, we have to live in the process of light overcoming darkness. We have to open the secret places, where darkness hides. By inviting Jesus into these places, His light triumphs over the darkness and sets us free. This kind of freedom is the kind that God lives in. It is a freedom to know and to do His will, which is perfect love. When we open ourselves like this to the spirit of God, He shows us the truth. Not just the factual truth, the truth of His unending grace and His ceaseless mercy. With the darkness of condemnation and guilt overcome, we can welcome without fear His presence and His person. This joining of God and man, Father and son, fulfills the plan of God in creation. It is the only type of change that will last. It is the only change that will set us free. And it is the only change that is unchangeable.

Who would want justice, when they can have mercy?

2009-08-23T06:35:00.000-07:00

There is a great deal of talk today about the need for justice in our society. Crime is growing. Unsolved cases stack up on police records filing tables. In most major cities, people are afraid to go outside during the day let alone at night. Everywhere we turn we find people crying out for justice. And why shouldn’t they? After all, with what we’ve been through, any experience in which another person steals from you, harms you, or violates your person in any way, can impact you for years. All the prisons, however, and all the jails will not change the heart of a criminal; except to make it harder for him to be loving. Gang bangers, housewives, school kids, dads, everyone of us needs to be under the justice of the kingdom. For there, justice delights in mercy.

In God, there is another kind of justice. It is the justice best expressed in the death and resurrection of Jesus. Lately I have been overwhelmed by images and thoughts of what He went through for me and what that means to my relationship with Him. There is no doubt. I have broken God's law over and over again. No matter how hard I have tried, I have always failed. It just is not in me to do good. When I think I am doing good, my ego will rise up and I will destroy any goodness that might have come forth from the effort on my part. This is a condition shared by all of us. We are all bent and broken; twisted, and unable to see the truth. When Paul looked at this in his own heart, he cried out “O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” But he did not stop there. He went on to say, with abundant passion: “But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. I thank God -- through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.”

I don’t mean to be on some kind of a guilt trip, but the truth is truth. Without a Savior, we are all destined to eternal punishment. Nothing else will serve justice. Nothing else would be fair. Nothing else would satisfy the holiness and righteousness of God. God knew this from the beginning. He was not surprised my sin. He had a plan. It was a plan that only he could carry out. This righteous sacrifice of a holy Man in place of you and me was carried out upon Jesus without mercy.

It was done that way to satisfy the wrath of God and to give Jesus the opportunity to extend to us the mercy He had not received. And that is just what He does. When we come to Him, and admit we are unable to do good, He gives us His mercy. When we stop justifying our wrong behavior as if it was okay, He reaches out a hand of grace. With all the stuff I’ve done wrong, and all the stuff I will probably do wrong, my only comfort is that I do not have to experience justice. Instead, I can have mercy.

A Focus on Pain

2009-08-01T18:14:00.000-07:00

My focus over the last few weeks has been kind of a strange one. I have been spending my free time, and I have a lot of it, thinking about pain. On the physical side, it is easy to see my pain as a valuable asset. If you stuck your hand in the fire and there was no pain, you would probably leave it there until it was burnt to a crisp. Pain tells the body that there is something wrong. It is a road sign placed directly in our way. It works.

There is, however, a function for pain that goes deeper than just saying something is wrong. It is deeper and stronger. It’s the kind of pain that lasts and lasts and lasts. This kind of pain wraps itself around the fabric of your soul. It never lets go. Never lightens up. It just lingers in your mind and your heart an ever present personage who, once he came to visit, took up residency.

We have all had our share of cohabitating with pain. To endure we must grow in self-control and understanding of who is really in charge of the universe. If it won’t stop hurting, it won’t stop hurting. It is a shame that we cannot live up to our high school expectations. Most of us were convinced then that we would live forever, never suffer any real pain or failure and eventually die in a spectacular blaze of glory. Never was there consideration of the possibility that we might have great and long-lasting pain as a partner in life.

For those of us who are boomers, the transition from “the one who dies with the most toys wins” to “what do I do with all this junk?” was just the beginning of opening of our eyes. When our vision started to give out, and most of our teeth were capped, we began to see things a little differently, but we did not give up easily. Then along came arthritis or ulcers, torn muscles, balding, and an extra 40 pounds. The fix was in. Nobody was going to get out alive, and most of us were going to become well acquainted with pain.

Whenever I come to a fork in the road, and I just do not know which way to go, I always turn to the Scriptures. The answer does not jump off the pages as I read, but with a little work it comes slowly, when need presses through the fog in my brain and speaks to me. As I have walked with great pain over the last few years, my question has been a simple one: “How do I deal with you? How do I keep your influence from controlling my behavior?” The answer to this question can be summed up in a few words. Do not take yourself too seriously. It will probably get worse tomorrow and today will look pretty good.

Rom 5:1-5Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Something of value

2009-07-28T14:03:00.000-07:00

For most of my life I have been involved with people and groups of people who have as at least part of their purpose to contribute something of value to our world. It all started when I was six or seven years old when I was convinced by my father that I needed to be a cub scout. From there, it was the altar boys and Boy scouts and so on and so on and so on. Before I knew it, I was hooked on the principle that the more you do, the more you're worth. Don't get me wrong, I loved the activity and when things went right, the acclaim. I got so good at doing good things that my friends and family were sure I would end up a priest or a minister. And they were right.

In the early 80's, I left a promising career as a commercial photographer to pastor a small, I mean small, church in the university district of Seattle. No one forced me to make the change. If anything, most people thought I was delusional. I wasn't crazy. I wasn't deceived. What I was was lonely and becomming desperate for the key that had eluded me my entire life. The key to the door that led to being a person of value. I needed to have something in me that could impact something in others.

Keep in mind that I was a pastor and I loved the job. But I also loved photography and writing music and being with my wife and kids. You would think I had everything I could ever need. I had a great relationship with God. He always came through and when I messed up, He helped me to clean up the mess and did so with great love. What I couldn't get a hold of was that all the things I loved in my life and all the love I knew from the Lord were mine not because I had worked out how to get them. No. They were free gifts from a loving father and as such I had no control over them. I was completely dependant upon the character and the love of God for everything. This also meant that I was completely out of control.

I didn't know this then. It took me 20 years to get my head out of the fog and even now I am far too easily distracted by the things of life so as to get caught up in the do this and you'll be loved trick. I've done this and it didn't get me more love. Nor did it take love away. Love from God is ours because He is love and He decided to love me regardless of what I do or don't do.

And in that I stand free and at peace.

Thursday night about 6

2009-06-25T17:21:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a while since I did this. Things have been pretty hectic. I am getting stronger, doing stretching exercises and walking and working out at the gym. I have had some time to think over what's going on the world. I don't have any real insight into the financial problems that have surfaced in the past few months. Like everyone else, I see the pictures of the wealthy men being taken to jail for stealing millions of dollars. Some of them will spend the rest of their life in jail. May God go with them and change their hearts.

Finances have been an issue in my own life since I came down with MSA, but at the same time, I've seen God move in the most miraculous and awe-inspiring ways. Week after week, month after month, even year after year, he has supplied our needs fully. There isn't much said, in most of our churches, about how to deal with pressure and stress. What is said is usually applicable to the few in the pews, who have the financial ability they need to survive in difficult times. The rest of us have been chosen for the ministry of stretching the dollar. The choice isn't made by man alone, because no one would choose to be tight financially, let alone poor. The choices made by the talents, skills, and willpower of each individual. It is also made by God.

There's something that happens when two people come together to solve a problem. First there's the amenities, then the problem is put on the table and the conversation begins to examine the different elements of the problem and what might be done about it. When the problem involves money, if one man needs it and the other man has it, the tension can be extreme. I think that's why Jesus said: "don't lend money to your friends. Give it to them freely and be blessed." Most of my life I've been on the giving side. I was able to help people in need without casting any judgment upon them. It was wonderful. It filled my soul with joy. It made my wife happy. It even blessed my children.

All that's changed for now. I don't know how long it will be that we live on what one person can earn and the gifts of others,but I am getting used to the challenge. It goes with the territory that I live in. I still believe in the deliverance of the Lord as well as His healing. I can't wait to see how He does it. For now, I'm looking for work at home that is legimate, volunteering at different ministries, when they can pick me up since I can't drive, and I am just about to publish a photography book.

I'm greatful for the friends we have, the provision supplied and the hope I have in my future.

Elk Mountain

2009-05-20T14:50:00.000-07:00

There wasn't a cloud in the sky as I started out. The trees were on fire with the Fall and the air was as crisp as a September apple. I had planned the day perfectly. My backpack was loaded with food, clothes, emergency supplies and ammunition. I was off in search of the elusive elk in the high mountain country of Northern Idaho. More than that, I was looking for a part of myself that I hadn't had for far too many years. I really had no idea how I would find that lost piece of my soul and what the journey ahead held.

I began my climb, backpack and rifle neatly in place. The hills leading up the canyon were steep and covered with low-lying bushes that reached 8 feet in places. The going was slow and painstaking. I had to pick my way one bush at a time. I didn't mind. My mind kept telling me how great it was to come up against the elements and win. I felt strong. I was confident and even if I never saw an elk, I would make this a day to remember.

Once I reached the top of the draw I came out into a bald spot on the hill. From there I could see for miles. It was awesome. The mountains seemed to go on forever. Blues and greens mixed with the bright yellows and oranges to make a canvas that could only be painted by the Creator Himself. At first I thought: "I wish I had a camera." Then I changed my mind. "You could never capture this on film. It's far to subtle, too dynamic, too real. I pressed on into the first valley.

As I moved on, the weather began to change. First it just got cooler. Then the sun disappeared behind a bank of clouds that soon covered the entire sky. I really didn't pay much attention. I was on the move. That was my first mistake. Never ignore weather changes in the high country. As I came to the base of the draw I realized that I had some choices to make. There were what appeared to be three ridges ahead. Which one would lead me further into the area I wanted to hunt? Checking my compass, it seemed like the middle one was correct, so off I went.

Within an hour I knew I had made the wrong choice. Standing before the 200 foot rock wall dotted with small plateaus and outcropping of brush, I realized I blew it. The problem was that while I was walking into the canyon, the canyon had become shrouded in a dense fog. I was disoriented. As I rested and thought about my situation, it began to snow. First a little and then a lot. Within what seemed like a few minutes I was in the midst of a blizzard. The storm had come in behind me, so I figured I'd climb out of it. Up the wall I went. About half of the way up as I was reaching for a hold on some brush, the ground underneath my feet fell away. I was left hanging in mid air by the roots of the brush above me. Below me was a fifty foot drop that ended in a small lake.

Try as I might I could not pull myself up. Every time I would try, my backpack would get hung up in the roots. I was getting exhausted and afraid. I slipped off the backpack and tried to pull myself up with one arm. The backpack and all my supplies fell from my grip and rolled down the hill into the lake and out of site. Now I was worried. I managed to get past the roots and up to the ledge. I couldn't go back. The ground was gone. I had to go on. So up I climbed inch by inch, rock by rock and root by root. It took what seemed like hours to reach the top. Once there I was in shock. My clothes were soaked to the bone. I was freezing cold and I had never been so tired. It was getting late. I had to get out or I was in big trouble. I walked the ridge until I found a route off the side. Working my way down took what little strength I had left and when I got to the bottom, I sat in disbelief.
What had gone wrong? Why was I so lost? I had used my compass many times to try and find my way. I was sure I was heading north. Then it dawned on me. Every time I used the compass I was holding my rifle on my shoulder. The readings were all pointing to the rifle not true north. Now I felt like a complete idiot. I was near frozen, maybe near death and it was all my fault. The conquering hero had turned into a joke. But there was no time for self-pity. The sun was setting and I knew if I didn't get out quick, I would freeze to death. Like a crazed man I began running up the first hill I found. "The higher I go, the more light I will have." I reasoned. Running, falling, getting up and falling again, I clawed my way on. Then the hill leveled out and the path disappeared. Before me was a wide stream overgrown with huge brush. I frantically looked for another way. There wasn't one. So, into the stream I went. I was already dripping wet. Nothing mattered now except survival.

I forged my way down stream for a while falling every few feet on the slick rocks. Gasping for air and shaking out of control, I finally had to get out. I just couldn't go on. As I hit the bank of the stream I fell in total despair. "I'm going to die out here; alone, freezing and a failure. What about my wife, my kids. I haven't done a thing with my life. I always thought that a person's life flashed before them at a time like this. I can't think of a thing I've said or done of any value. No, there's Barbara and Rachel and Joe. And there's God. God. Suddenly, I realized that throughout the entire ordeal I had never really talked to God. I had just been so busy staying alive. Lying on the ground, I felt my remaining strength drain out onto the snow covered earth. "Lord," I said, "I may be with you soon. I'm really scared. Not to die, but to die like this; alone and without having done anything I wanted to do with my life. I feel like I've let You down and I've really failed myself. I'm sorry. I just can't go on."

Before I had hardly finished my little prayer, I heard a voice in my head. "Jerry, you need to get up one more time and climb. It's not far, but you can't stay where you are. You must try one more time." "I can't do it. I'm too tired. I'm so sleepy", I said. The voice sounded again. This time it was louder. "Jerry, get up right now and climb!" Not wanting to get God mad right before I hit heaven, I put all my energy together and crawled up the hill. It was totally dark. I could see nothing. I could feel nothing. I just dug my way along in the dirt; pulling my frozen limp body by my fingers. Then, with what I was sure was my last surge of energy, I reached up in search of something to grab onto to pull myself up one last time. My hand hit a log. I gripped a branch on it and jerked myself over it. As I landed on the log, I saw something. It was a road or a trail. No, it was a dirt road. I had come up at the end of the road.

To make a long story short, I stood up and began to follow the road inch by inch in the dark. After an hour or so I saw a light in the distance and I moved toward it. Once there, I found two men at their camp. They took me in, nursed me back to semi-consciousness and gave a ride to my own camp some seven miles away. As I sat in the back of the truck, I thought over what had happened. I had truly come to the end of my self and in the process God had taken me to the end of the road to bring me to a new understanding of what it means to obey His voice. I never want to go through something like that again. Though I know I might. But more than that, I never want to doubt His voice nor disobey His instructions. I have learned that my end is His beginning and that His grace is sufficient for all my needs.

Oh, I don't hunt alone anymore either.

The Process

2009-05-19T07:37:00.000-07:00

I wrote this to a friend recently. It feels like its worth repeating.

Somewhere in the past (around 100 AD I think) Christianity went from being a relationship with someone (Jesus) who exceeded all expectations and met every real need, to a life style that resembles a constant rehearsal that never goes on stage. We wait, we hope, we pray and yet we can still feel like nothing ever happens. This leads us to disappointment, disillusion, and even despair. We can feel like we are all alone on the outside of a window looking into the toy shop with no way to get inside. Breaking the hold of this requires great determination.

We have to let go of the ropes that bind us without rejecting the object of our desire. This translates to a trust akin to "if you don't show me the way to real life, I will die". This dying to self is a life long process, but that doesn't mean we won't notice change for the better right away. Its just that as we travel from one level of change to another, we become aware of the challenges of the old level we have left behind as much as the one up ahead. It will never end until we are face to face with the Lord. Its the only thing in this world that is worth its price. We give our everything in exchange for His totality. Like trading manure for diamonds. One of the hard parts to this process is that its very difficult to believe that we won't get ripped off; ending up with nothing for our everything. The answer to that fear is simple. We have His word that He will not only do His part, but He will also do ours.

This puts a spin on the concept of happiness. Its difficult to be happy. You have to work at it. It only comes to us when we are engaged in believing so strongly that the circumstances we are facing mean less to us than connecting with God in the midst of them. This connection is possible because of grace. We have been forgiven even though we still feel guilty. We have a future that is good, even though our present is hard or even impossible to overcome. When we make the exchange of all of me for all of Him, He takes us at our word and makes the trade.

The evidence of this trade is not that everything magically changes to our benefit. It is also not an assortment of pleasant feelings. It is, instead, a certanty deep in our souls that we are different. It is a knowing that He is good, faithful, loving (to me) and keeps His word...all the time. Confusion about who God is, or if He is at all, is at the top of the list of those things which drive men crazy. We spend tons of time persuing philosophical theories and miss the presence of God. To know God, we must lay down our questions, not give them up, and listen for the answers. They're inside if we just look.

Enough said.

2009-05-02T12:02:00.000-07:00

God Offends the Mind to Reveal the Heart.

I have been sick for nearly 4 years. My illness started out small, mostly an inconvenience. But it grew and became painful, disabling, and finally life threatening. I was forced to resign my position as pastor of a church. I spent 12 to 18 months in great pain, mental confusion, and weakness. For most of that time I was either laying on a couch or in bed. I went to many doctors and spent a great deal of money, most of which was donated. I had hours of painful dental work performed and took medicines that made me nauseated, weak and depressed. I lost contact with most of my friends and my congregation. I lived effectively disabled, alone, in pain, confused and wondering why God had allowed this to happen to me.

I was attacked on three levels. I had thought that my teaching, which was very practical and response oriented, would always be used by God to build his kingdom. For as long as I lived, I saw my position in the broader Christian community as being a facilitator. I had a large network of ministry associates and had worked on many communitywide projects and events. I loved to worship the Lord. I played the guitar in our worship band, and I spent hours every day, worshiping God by myself. I wrote music and recorded two albums. But now I could not even hold a guitar or sing a song. I could barely attend church once or twice a month.

In addition, like anyone else, I also had personal demons to fight. My childhood was far from perfect. The abuses and wounds I received had driven me to drugs and alcohol before meeting Jesus. After joining the church, I experienced many negative things. I was rejected, vilified and used by other brothers and sisters in the Lord. My memories of these experiences were vivid, and I could keenly feel the pain. I never imagined that I would go through what I was now going through. My mind constantly returned to the memories of my earlier life. These memories seemed to cry out, telling me that God had deserted me and that I would never experience life in the Spirit again. My mind was tempted to become deeply hurt. After all, my knowledge no longer had an outlet of expression and my creativity was totally shut down. I couldn't even live on my memories, because to go there would make me feel deserted or disqualified.

After about two years of fighting the voices in my head, I realized that to win this battle, I had to give up. I had to stop relying on my knowledge. I had to pour my creativity out like a glass of bitter wine and to focus on the good things God had done for me and my family, rather than on the challenges I was facing. This was particularly difficult, because as I was fighting, the doctors were telling me that my condition was getting increasingly worse. They told me my disease was incurable and progressive, and that it would eventually totally disable me and end my life. To be honest, there were times when I was offended with God and the church and even myself. As I looked at my offense, God called me to look deeper into my heart. What I saw there was hard to examine. The darkness of my soul, which I had kept hidden, was overwhelming. I saw my sin and my failures so clearly that I often spent hours weeping before the Lord. There were things there that I could not overcome. I cried out to God for mercy and forgiveness and begged him to release me from the bondages I saw there. God was faithful. He didn't condemn me. He didn't deny my failures and faults. Instead he forgave me, and healed the broken parts of my heart. Then he began to teach me new ways to think, new ways to feel and new ways to act.

God began to teach me. He showed me that the human mind has three basic functions. First, it gathers, retains and processes information into knowledge. Second, our minds contain the seeds of creativity. Finally, our minds store our memories.

Obviously there are many kinds of information. There's sensory information, which comes to the brain via the body. When you feel your skin is cold, you are aware of it because of your mind. You look at an apple and see that it is red. You do so by your mind translating into information the images created by light. Your mind also creates understanding of the circumstances surrounding the information it gathers. This is the process of learning. It is unique in that it takes in information from many sources and processes that information into knowledge. This knowledge is then stored in your mind and is added to other information to increase knowledge. How much knowledge you have is directly contingent upon how much information you have gathered and processed.

Creativity is a function of the mind, which takes previously gathered information, personal experience, and imagination, and processes these into previously unknown ideas. These ideas then take shape within the context of talent. An example would be when you hear the sound of a brook that runs near where you’re sitting. Your mind gathers the sounds and processes them into a new idea: “I could make those sounds with my flute,” you think. So reaching into your backpack you take out your flute and begin to mimic the sounds of the water running over rocks. Then you come up with a new sound all your own.

Memories are unique. They are your perceptions and interpretations of words, actions or events which you have experienced. They are composed of the thoughts, physical feelings and emotional responses that are contained in these interpretations. No two people have exactly the same memories. You all perceive events and exchanges of emotion, as well as our reactions to these events and emotions, differently. It is that perception, stored in your mind, which you call memories. These memories can be complex, filled with exacting details. Or they can be simple images of loosely connected experiences. Good or bad, once these memories have been imprinted on your mind they are with you for life. The unique thing about memories is that they can be stored in your active thoughts or they can be hidden away so that you don't have to deal with them.

There are many other functions of the mind, many you don't yet understand. But these three, knowledge, creativity and memory are central to your life and are often used by God to develop your spiritual walk.

He often develops your spiritual walk by offending your mind. That is to say, he chooses a portion of your knowledge, creativity or memories and shows it to be incorrect or ineffective. He does this directly, or he uses circumstances or other people. In any case, you discover that something, which you thought was true and were able to depend upon, was false. For example, you might create what you believe to be a masterpiece, but it turns out to be a failure. Or you might be around someone who speaks or acts like a person who has hurt you deeply in the past and you experience a painful memory. It is this falsehood, or this failure, or this discovery that borrows deeply into you and causes you to be offended. This offense reveals part of your heart or soul that is either wounded or disconnected from God. It is this heart condition, which God wants to change.

It is his desire to heal your wounded heart and to instruct you in the ways of truth. God is not nearly as concerned about you having accurate knowledge as he is with your heart and mind being connected to him. Knowledge is good and information is plentiful, but the only knowledge that will last is the knowledge of God's love. You cannot control what portion of all knowledge you can gain. You can however be responsible for the knowledge you do have.

Most anyone when asked if they are creative will say, “Yes, to some degree.” In fact, you use creativity many, many times a day. You are constantly gathering new information, and having new experiences, which you then process into new thoughts and feelings. These new thoughts and feelings allow you to improve functions of everyday living, as well as to create mechanically, artistically, scientifically, relationally and educationally. Society has limited the applause for creativity to those few who have developed their talents to superior levels. But God has given each of you the power to create. When the baker comes up with a new way to mix his dough, he is exercising his creativity. When a student discovers a new method of studying mathematics, he is exercising his creativity. And when anyone takes the knowledge gathered throughout life, and discovers a new application, method or expression, they are exercising creativity. You cannot control how much creativity you have. You can, however, take responsibility for what you do with your creativity.

When looking into memories, you enter a part of the mind that is so complex it would seem impossible to understand. Because you all experience life from a different vantage point, you all have different memories. Three people can be in the same place at the same time, and a year later, they will remember it different ways. You may have had experiences that you don't remember. You can have memories that are terribly frightening. You have memories that make you sad and glad and mad. One thing for certain is that your memories can affect your decisions, your willingness to risk and your relationships They can also deeply impact your beliefs about God. You cannot control what you remember or what you don't remember. You can however take responsibility for what you do in response to your memories.

There is a strange and wonderful connection between the function of your mind and what is called your heart. The heart is that part of you where your personhood exists is, where your personality is formed, where values exist and where what makes you unique. Of course, I am not talking about the physical heart. I am instead, referring to the soul, the core of your being. The heart is that which makes you the person you are. The heart interacts with the gathering of information and its corresponding development of knowledge. It is also engaged in the development and execution of creativity. And finally, the heart is tied directly to your memories. You remember what you feel and then you decide whether to continue to experience your memories or to block them.

Every man has an image of God, including his holiness, righteousness and goodness. Even the atheist has to make reference to God to declare that he doesn’t believe in Him. As a follower of Jesus, it is your opportunity and responsibility to give up your life, to take up your cross and to follow in his footsteps. God wants you to be like him. He has given you righteousness through the Cross. This is by faith, through grace. This righteousness allows you to have fellowship with God. It also causes you to enter into the process of becoming like God. Once you have been saved, you undergo an ongoing series of tests, trials and cleansings to change you into the image and likeness of God. In short, you were on the road that leads away from your sinful natures and toward the perfect nature of Jesus Christ.

When you have been on this road for a little while, you come to the understanding that the difficulties in life are not there to tear you down. Instead they provide opportunity to exchange your old ways of thinking, feeling and acting, which led to death, for God's ways which are filled with life. Your trials are meant to make you strong. Notice that this new life requires that you make the choice to allow God to change your understanding, to determine where and how you use your creativity, and to decide how you respond to your memories.

More times than not God Himself is the author of a trial. I don't mean to say that He sends illness to us to make us chanage. No, instead, He will ask you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. He will tell you to speak as a child, when you see yourself as highly educated and knowledgeable adults. Or he may ask you to accept the loss of a job taken from you unfairly, declaring you to be incompetent where you see yourself to be excellent. Maybe he will send you to give loving care to an individual who has wounded you in the past; someone whose memory haunts you and brings you pain. Many times,

God will offend your mind in the religious world. He may change how he wants you to sing in church. He may cause you to do embarrassing things. God might select a person to lead you who in your eyes is not capable. Jesus might tell you to be quiet when you want desperately to share your ideas, your dreams, or your theology. He might choose someone else besides you to lead worship or to teach a Bible study. Any of these things, and a lot more, can cause an offense to your mind and reveal a brokenness in your heart.

The Bible tells you to guard your heart: “Prov. 4:23: Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” To do this you must be aware of when you are taking offense. Whether you are offended by the circumstances of your life, or by other people, or by God himself, when the offense comes, you must look to your heart.

My body still does not function well. I still have many of the symtoms of MSA. I believe God hasl healed me, that He will restore me to my family and that He will again use me in ministry for his kingdom's sake. Most of all I believe he loves me and will care for me and for my family. I'm glad that God sent offense to me. It has given me the opportunity to have my heart exposed, and healed. I know this is not the last time God will allow an offense my way. I also know that when it comes my heart will be ready for the Master’s touch. In spite of my failures and my misconceptions of who God is and how he loves, I am still growing and I am living in peace. This touch is available to anyone who will humble themselves, lay down their offences and seek His healing touch.

2009-04-29T18:25:00.000-07:00

We are but a reflection of the One who made all things.

First Post

2009-04-28T17:52:00.000-07:00

Since this is my first post on any blog (does that make this my maiden voyage?), I just felt like sharing a poem I wrote years ago. Read and enjoy.

MOONLIGHT AND RAIN

Whispering rain is calling my name
Moonlight glistens as I listen
Memories lead me to a day
of friendships that ran deep

Then faith untested still lay nested
safe inside untouched by pride
and hope was yet a child
unscarred and unafraid.

"Remember please" sings out the breeze
"the innocence of love first blessed.
and draw upon the reservoir
of joy once filled so free."

So I, re-dreaming love's first gleaming
see its sparkle dance through dark 'till
happiness is breathed in sighs of yesterday.

For when one wonders why one's brothers
fell from grace or lost their place,
it's often best to cradle pain
under moonlight mixed with rain.