The Process

I wrote this to a friend recently. It feels like its worth repeating.

Somewhere in the past (around 100 AD I think) Christianity went from being a relationship with someone (Jesus) who exceeded all expectations and met every real need, to a life style that resembles a constant rehearsal that never goes on stage. We wait, we hope, we pray and yet we can still feel like nothing ever happens. This leads us to disappointment, disillusion, and even despair. We can feel like we are all alone on the outside of a window looking into the toy shop with no way to get inside. Breaking the hold of this requires great determination.

We have to let go of the ropes that bind us without rejecting the object of our desire. This translates to a trust akin to "if you don't show me the way to real life, I will die". This dying to self is a life long process, but that doesn't mean we won't notice change for the better right away. Its just that as we travel from one level of change to another, we become aware of the challenges of the old level we have left behind as much as the one up ahead. It will never end until we are face to face with the Lord. Its the only thing in this world that is worth its price. We give our everything in exchange for His totality. Like trading manure for diamonds. One of the hard parts to this process is that its very difficult to believe that we won't get ripped off; ending up with nothing for our everything. The answer to that fear is simple. We have His word that He will not only do His part, but He will also do ours.

This puts a spin on the concept of happiness. Its difficult to be happy. You have to work at it. It only comes to us when we are engaged in believing so strongly that the circumstances we are facing mean less to us than connecting with God in the midst of them. This connection is possible because of grace. We have been forgiven even though we still feel guilty. We have a future that is good, even though our present is hard or even impossible to overcome. When we make the exchange of all of me for all of Him, He takes us at our word and makes the trade.

The evidence of this trade is not that everything magically changes to our benefit. It is also not an assortment of pleasant feelings. It is, instead, a certanty deep in our souls that we are different. It is a knowing that He is good, faithful, loving (to me) and keeps His word...all the time. Confusion about who God is, or if He is at all, is at the top of the list of those things which drive men crazy. We spend tons of time persuing philosophical theories and miss the presence of God. To know God, we must lay down our questions, not give them up, and listen for the answers. They're inside if we just look.

Enough said.