Thursday night about 6

Well, it's been a while since I did this. Things have been pretty hectic. I am getting stronger, doing stretching exercises and walking and working out at the gym. I have had some time to think over what's going on the world. I don't have any real insight into the financial problems that have surfaced in the past few months. Like everyone else, I see the pictures of the wealthy men being taken to jail for stealing millions of dollars. Some of them will spend the rest of their life in jail. May God go with them and change their hearts.

Finances have been an issue in my own life since I came down with MSA, but at the same time, I've seen God move in the most miraculous and awe-inspiring ways. Week after week, month after month, even year after year, he has supplied our needs fully. There isn't much said, in most of our churches, about how to deal with pressure and stress. What is said is usually applicable to the few in the pews, who have the financial ability they need to survive in difficult times. The rest of us have been chosen for the ministry of stretching the dollar. The choice isn't made by man alone, because no one would choose to be tight financially, let alone poor. The choices made by the talents, skills, and willpower of each individual. It is also made by God.

There's something that happens when two people come together to solve a problem. First there's the amenities, then the problem is put on the table and the conversation begins to examine the different elements of the problem and what might be done about it. When the problem involves money, if one man needs it and the other man has it, the tension can be extreme. I think that's why Jesus said: "don't lend money to your friends. Give it to them freely and be blessed." Most of my life I've been on the giving side. I was able to help people in need without casting any judgment upon them. It was wonderful. It filled my soul with joy. It made my wife happy. It even blessed my children.

All that's changed for now. I don't know how long it will be that we live on what one person can earn and the gifts of others,but I am getting used to the challenge. It goes with the territory that I live in. I still believe in the deliverance of the Lord as well as His healing. I can't wait to see how He does it. For now, I'm looking for work at home that is legimate, volunteering at different ministries, when they can pick me up since I can't drive, and I am just about to publish a photography book.

I'm greatful for the friends we have, the provision supplied and the hope I have in my future.